Reiki Attunement Today

I got my Reiki Attunement Level 1 today. I didn't really feel much when I was practicing on the Reiki Master. I guess this is normal when first starting out. My hands did get tired for holding them up so long though! I'm not sure if that counts. /=
I think I'll start practicing on my cats tomorrow and maybe ask a few people. It's a pretty formal experience and there are guidelines to follow which are important if you believe in the transferance of energy. Channelling it out of you and grounding yourself is important. Energy can get stuck or effect the healer if it does not travel through to the universe.
A healer is not allowed to perform Reiki on an individual they do not ask permission from. So if you don't like it and don't want it, don't worry!

I'll keep you updated.

Recurring Dream

I've been having this same dream for the past couple of days now. Not always the same situation but the dream always leaves me feeling the same. Confused. Dumfounded. Lost. Stupid.

What am I doing in these dreams you ask? Well I will tell you but don't laugh. I am sitting in grade 11 math. Trying my darndest to understand what the hell is going on. I never got math past grade 9. I'm not quite sure how I made it into grade 10 math, but at least I got it in order to graduate. Then the dreaded grade 11 math. I don't remember anything but graphs and sweaty palms, looks of confusion towards my classmates and to my teacher. While he would ramble on and on excitedly about this and that while I literally gave up and started following the lives of the squirrels outside the classroom window.

I tried my hardest I really did. My pencils were always sharpened and my books always neat. I would carry my text book home with me everynight...merely showing off. I'm not fooling anyone anymore. That text book was for show. It would sit upon my desk every night and you could find me only opening it frantically before tests or during homework check. Scribbling in answers I found in the back of the text book. I still have no idea why they put answers in the back of text books. Are you seriously trusting these crazy teenagers? Then what in the hell is the point of checking their homework??

Oh yeah..I get it. The work. The formulas. Are they used properly?

Well, I do feel at a loss. A part of my brain that should have been filled with formulas and understanding is left..as mush..but is it my fault I just didn't get it? I even got one of my brainiac math friends to tutor me after school a few times. But I'm sticking to my theory. You either get it, or you don't. Or maybe I don't want to get it. I really don't find number cruching as romantic as I do writing or reading. I rather be pretending. But not anymore. So here I am world, take it or leave it. I should have told my teacher to keep his text book, that it would only cause my backpack to be 10 pounds heavier and thats it. Give me an extra workout on my walks home.Cause me to slouch in the future because of that extra 10 pounds I would carry on my back to and fro. And slouch I do!

But this dream..what does it mean?? I think I have an idea. What if there is something going on in my life right now that I don't want to get. It's so fricken hard and so confusing that I rather pretend to get it because everyone else seems to. You know how it is in highschool. You don't want to be left out. Well I know I didn't. I was such a suck up and a follower that my brows furrow in dissapointment thinking back to how naieve I could be.

Somethings boiling beneath the surface though. I can feel it. Coming in the night. Oh lord. (Phil Collins haha). Anyways. I hope I can figure it out because I was literally taking this dream as a literal message that I should brush up on math. Not gonna lie, I still kinda want to. How cool would it be to be a math geek now! But realistically I still cant muster up the patience to sit and sweat. So maybe it will have to wait.

So the true question is; what am I trying to avoid thats making me feel like I'm in grade 11 math again?

Beach Days

Beach Days
Who doesn’t love a beach day? Sitting in the sun. Feet stretched out in the sand. Toes digging a hole until it hit’s the water underneath. Fingers raking at the tiny grains, squeezing clumps and letting them slide through my hand like an hour glass. Laying on my back or propped up on my elbows. Blinking slowly while rotating my head-scanning the horizon. This can be a lazy day, where I decide to unwind.
Or walking from the car to a prime playing spot. Arms overflowing with my volleyball, towel, pool noodle, umbrella, cooler, radio and lotion. This may take two trips. Dropping everything at once and running towards the lake to cool my burning soles. The sand is hot today. High noon and the waves are cool and calm. A beautiful contradiction. Enveloped in warmth then a freezing polar bear dip to give my circulation a much needed shock.
I learned not to care about the garbage or fishy smell. All those warnings about dirty or contaminated water. I know that if I avoid this nature with the paranoia that strikes so many addicted to the 6:00 o’clock news, I will no longer appreciate local beauty. I will pack my suitcase and go to Mexico, only to confront the same fears. The fear of letting go.
It’s this fear that pollutes our environment, and makes our home something strange instead of second nature. Instead, we sit inside and stare outside our windows, plan to dig a hole in our own backyard and fill it with chlorine water, then complain about the lack of time. Or how about investing in all those sports equipment toys? A shed or garage or porch overflowing with bikes or rollerblades you so desperately wanted. That one second where you decided, “today is the day I will start treading the ground and make a positive impression”. But instead your carbon footprint grows larger until one day it is the size of a behemoth too lazy to wade in the river.
I choose to be minimal now. I think I’m ready to breathe again. Enjoy what’s here and what’s simple. My big plans are easy. To be happy. And now is a better time than any.
The best advice I’ve received went something along the lines of this; “stress will kill you, so let it go and enjoy the seasons”.  I’m learning to sip summer with small sips. I’ve begun to take adventure chances.

Solar Powered Radio

Solar Powered Radio
 At Grand Bend Beach I saw the most amazing and wondrous thing I have cast my eyes upon in a very, very long time. No, not a group of Pomeranian puppies learning to swim in the water or some hot beach bodies bronzing it up in the sun, but a Solar Powered Radio. I’ve been talking about it for days! Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to take a picture of it for fear of looking like a paparazzi creeper-but I should have anyways.
 This thing was awesome! I really can’t narrow down why I’m so excited over this, but I can come up with three broad reasons.
 The group of volleyball players it belonged to obviously did not purchase it. The whole thing was wires and tape wrapped around an individual boom box and connected to an individual solar panel-you know those huge solar panels you see popping up all over Highway 3? This was a miniature version. This is great! Anybody could do this. My hunt for my own personal solar panel ensues. I’ve been advised that I could simply buy a solar powered garden rock, take out the panel and attach it to the radio. But I think I’ll see if I can find any other conservational ways as well. Maybe scope out Kijiji and see if there are any other green freaks out there onto this great idea and see what they‘ve come up with.
 Secondly, these geniuses will never have to purchase batteries, ever again. At least not for their beach radio. You know those massive batteries that fit into your tiny little radio and maybe last a couple hours. Well knowing myself and my friends, we spend a lot more time at the beach than a couple hours-especially throughout the whole summer. I know neither one of us is about to purchase a crate of batteries to last us the whole season through, so why not…wait for it…that magical word is about to pop up again…‘conserve’ our money and battery waste and just use the natural energy that envelopes us in its warmth everyday, the sun.
 Lastly, I was told that solar powered objects usually don’t even need the sun to operate, they only need light. Yes, I’m sure a bright and beautiful day with the sun beating down in all its glory is probably the best and strongest form of light energy out there, but if it comes down to it, only another source of light is needed. Think about it, a light bulb, powering up a solar panel, powering up a radio. Or a telephone, or bike or car. The possibilities are endless and I the sheer easiness of it all just fascinates me. Not to mention how much money and alternative, less appealing forms of energy we will be able to conserve.
 I lied, I guess all three broad reasons do all come down to one narrowing point, the ingenious conservation of energy excites me, because it means we’re not as dependent and helpless as we once though we were.

City Driving vs. County Driving

City Driving vs. County Driving
 I was raised as a city driver. Traffic Jams during rush hour and construction in the summer are in the my blood. If I get a red light down Tecumseh or Wyondotte, I would get them all. Everyone knows this. If I lucked out and hit a green, it would be smooth sailing from there. Unless of course someone cut in front of me and decided to take a scenic 40km/h.
 Not an aggressive driver, but from years of patiently waiting in an impatient fury I noticed my stomach would tighten up, I would clench my teeth and my hands would search for a cigarette in the bottom of my purse. Classic rock became a genre of music I gladly learned to appreciate because listening to the same old pop and talk stations was starting to drive me nuts. Songs would get stuck in my head, even after I became sick of them. Oh yeah, not to mention my c.d. collection grew from a measly 5 to 200. All for the sake of making waiting enjoyable.
 The city culture of driving is an interesting one. Everyone is in a hurry, and nobody really wants to stay or be where they are. Well, maybe not everyone. Maybe just me?
 So I migrated over to the country. No, not because of smooth sailing driving. Other reasons of course. But I noticed nonetheless that my commutes were quicker, regardless of the longer distance. My heart rate slowed and my appreciation for large uninterrupted fields of farm land grew. Taking a deep breathe and actually breathing in air, not the smog or heat emanating from the cars next to mine.
 A quick and calm adventure. But this isn’t my home. I realized that because I spend a lot of time in my tin can of a red van, my home is nowhere, but everywhere. A gypsy existence of to and fro. Identifying with the journey but not completely consumed. I think that the set of circumstances that has led me to the county helped me realize the difference between a close mass of metal and advertisements and people and being alone and free.
 A reflection on the needs of both. The inevitability of both and the choice that most people make. The city is always expanding, suburbs are sprouting like weeds and with them, shops, convenience stores, gas stations, outlets and everything else brought on by consumerism.
 Practicing blatant localism is almost impossible, because as an idea or place grows with popularity everybody wants a piece of it. Nobody, it seems, wants to do it for themselves. Everybody, it seems, is too busy working an endless job to support their habit of consuming. But its nobody’s fault. It is a cycle that once you get into its hard to break free from. Anybody wanting to live off their own land has to start from scratch, and this is extremely difficult after living a pampered lifestyle.
 Ah, but the drive. The simple act of driving away from the chaos and into the simple. How can one find a balance between the two?

Breathing in Odd Places

Breathing in Odd Places

I’ve been told from specialists and alternative healers alike, that I will suffer from stomach problems my whole life. I’m just one of those people that is damned if they do and damned if they don’t. Salmonella poisoning was obviously not something I planned, but to make matters worse, after my colonoscopy test the doctor revealed to me that I had what looked like the beginning of Colitis. Colitis is an old man’s disease characterized by stomach ulcers. Gee, Great!

Staying away from heavy and greasy foods, plus alcohol and who knows what else is only part of the battle. Apparently stress and eating while angry or depressed can also cause one’s stomach to bubble, bloat and revolt. So to take matters into my own hands, I began looking at some alternative healing techniques. No, that doesn’t mean stirring a cauldron containing a newts eye, 3 dodo bird feathers and fairy dust, then drinking the cup between yoga poses in the middle of the forest. Simple alternative healing to me includes anything that may not be endorsed by big, multimillion health care corporations or pharmaceutical companies. Most of the time, alternative healing only requires mind over matter and the sooner you start the better off you are. Simply listening to triggers and preventing the effect before the cause pricks you is key.

Something I stumbled upon- a trick that really works and one that our great, great ancestors even knew about is called…wait, drum roll please…Breathing. Ok, so now everybody say it with me now, “Breathing”.  Sad thing is, I think were just plainly too busy to remember to do this sometimes!

Just breathe! Well, we all breathe and I can already hear the mocking. “Oh come on who needs to be reminded to breathe for crikey’s sake? Is this some sick and twisted blonde joke?”

No my friends, this isn‘t a joke, breathing is extremely vital to not only reducing stress, but eliminating stress altogether which is the number one cause to most health issues in our society.

Most stomach ulcers are caused by stress which are caused by an abundance of pent up emotions such as fear, anger and sadness which all lead to anxiety, which unfortunately functions through a feed back loop of worrying about becoming afraid, angry or sad. So nip it in the bud I say! Instead of fretting over the little things, which in essence are the usual triggers to anxiety, just breathe.

But there is a catch. Its not just breathing, its deep relaxed breathing and truly remembering to do this in situations that may cause one to become irate and most importantly, sticking to it.

Try it next time. Instead of impatiently rocking from left foot, to right foot while waiting in the check out line, just simply begin breathing. Inhale, expand your chest, then exhale out of your mouth, then repeat.

Waiting at the red light in 35C weather in a car without A/C, my first instinct is to bang my head on the horn and cry out for an ice cap…but then what? Well, I’ll just take a deep breathe, in through my nose, count to three, then exhale, and repeat.

Think you can try it?

Back to Basics

After a wild week and a half of camping in Grand Bend and touristing in Toronto for the Katy Perry concert, I am ready to get back to basics. While I love hanging with the ol' chums and laughing at random things, its good to get back to the internal workings of my mind, body and liver.

Thats the thing with vacations, sometimes they're good, and sometimes they're great! But you always know your'e returning home to what matters and what makes you, you.

You can never re-create a moment, or an amazing adventure, but its good to know that you can have a moment or an adventure. So take the memories and reminisce, but don't get lost in the feeling of nostalgia too much. Or else you may end up living the Beach movie. Nobody wants to live on a beach, apathetically slumming, only to find that when reality strikes you are far too lost in your dreams of paradise that you can't deal.

So this is my ramble...hope it helps with your transition back into reality.

Ciao!

Reiki

I went to my first Reiki session today and right now I feel, calm.
I got my chakras re-alligned and I asked to get my abdomen retuned by a tuning fork!
It was strange. At one point it felt as though my feet and head were lifting off the mat. Parts of my body were floating while my bum was secured to the ground. A feeling of nausea washed over me but I told myself to snap out of it and I did.
Wow.
The lady that did it for me was very kind and energetic. Her two cats were crawling around the carpet curious but comfortable I'm sure.
She reccomended a few books for me to read-"The Power of Now" and "When Things Fall Apart".
Interesting.
A learning process has begun.

Where is that book???

So I just realized I have an emormous amount of books that are just piling up in all corners of the house.

I was searching for this math text book that I used in teachers college a few years ago. I was going to let my boyfriend borrow it for some upcoming aptitude test he's going to have to take and thought it would be a good studying tool for some basic algebra and what not.

Anyways, after searching high and low in my parents house I could not find it. I was sure that I had packed it away with four huge plastic bins I got from wal-mart that were sitting in the basement. I remember strategically reserving two bins for text books and notebooks from the Faculty of Education and I would cherish them and use them when I needed them again. Perhaps when I wanted to develop my own curricullum for starting a summer school daycare program for grades one to three. Just another one of my savvy business ideas I'm not sure that I'll actually pursue.

But anyways, to my pack rat problem. I could not find this text and even had my mom and boyfriend helping me. They had given up after about 2 minutes and I was breaking out into a sweat running up and down the stairs, searching in the basement, in the upstairs office, my room, then back in the basement again.

Then, I sat down to take a breather, only to remember that I had brought it to my boyfriends apartment a few months back to "brush up" on some math skills like the diligent nerd that I am.

Wow, so all in all, I decided I either need to a) re-organize and relabell all my bins and bookshelves or b)just have a huge book yard sale or c) donate the books I know I'll never read again to some very worthy children or university students on a budget.

Clearly I am a mass of contradications. Maybe I should take a hint from those freegen and begin recycling some of my belongings by letting go of them.

Peace!

Freegen and Dumpster Diving

It was just brought to my attention last night that the group of people infamously known as 'dumpster divers' have also become known as 'freegen'. At first glance, dumpster divers are usually thought to be homeless people that have no choice but to search for food and shelter in corporate americas trash. Freegens take this a step further, adding an ethical stance to their way of life. They are not homeless because they have been marginalized from the norm of society, but instead believe that recycling trash (yes even food) is an ethical obligation.

We've all found ourselves in that awkward situation, standing behind some angry man or woman in the check out line, who relentlessly argues for a discount on the almost expired meat, dairy or produce. Well, grocery stores have caught on, and while some add discount coupons to go along with their products, most will not risk running the reputation for selling 'almost' bad chicken or lettuce. As a result, the majority will throw away their goods upon nearing the end of their shelf life.

I have always had a fascination with dumpster diving and I think this was highlighted after watching a couple episodes of Hoarders on A&E. While the two are contrary to one another, they do have one thing in common, they reflect the value individuals place on objects. While dumpster divers recycle other peoples trash, hoarders treasure their own trash to a fault.

Some hoarders will dumpster dive and search for their idolized objects in trash, but they are projecting an unhealthy importance to this object. Whereas freegen, are more worried about the ramifications caused by the unhealthy need to consume and discard. They are modern day hippies and I praise them for their simplicity and message.

Well, thats all for today!

(=

Carousel of the Nations

Today I went to the Romanian Carousel located on Tecumseh Road near Met. Hospital. The day festivities were located in the basement of the church due to the extreme heat in the yard. In the basement; a small stage where the traditional dance groups performed to really loud music, a big pastry (prajiture) table sat against one side of the wall, a bar against another wall serving Lac beer (never heard of it before) and a food table serving the tastiest meats and cabbage rolls. Oh yeah; tables and chairs in the middle of it all where people could snack, drink and dance. 

I went with my mom who is Romanian but isn't really involved with the church or community.. Nonetheless, everyone was very welcoming. The Slovakian Children's Dance Group performed while we were there and I couldn't stop laughing at their little hops and skips across the stage. Slavic dance groups usually dance around in a circle and perform intricate dance steps around the stage and each other. I was in a Serbian dance group for a few years when I was younger and know just how difficult it can be to catch on. Regardless, I still thought it was hilarious; babushkas strategically pinned to the girls heads and the boys riding around on little broom ponies waving handkerchiefs around their heads.

Two Mitite (seasoned pork rolls) and a gallop of mustard is what I ordered for my 'snack'. It was very delicious, regardless of the four dollar cost. Its the kind of meat that sits on your breathe for hours after, leaving you with the nostalgic longing of hearty homecooked meals. 

Anyways, I'm hoping to go back tonight with some friends and enjoy the out of control Romanian festivities that I'm sure will ensue. This may involve some Gypsy singing and of course, dancing. Some imported and therefore overpriced but very worth it Beer. Perhaps meeting a few strangers while dancing in a wild circle who will become my best friends for the night as we try to speak Romanian to each other...?

Tootles!

New to the Blogging World

After a long and boring day I thought to myself  "I should start a blog!".   This occured to me after thinking about the things that people could possibly do and never get bored. Now I don't want to become this blogging maniac that fills up any free second with an update on my life. On the contrary, I instead believe that blogging will help me network and express myself in times when the mood strikes-just like today.

So I submitted a short story and photograph to an online newsharing website and am still waiting for a yay or nay. I am by no means a creative writer, but with practice comes payoff and it would be my dream job to sit at my lap top, notebook or journal and get paid for writing about things that are going on in my world.

I'm just one of those people that continues to struggle with my confidence, especially in my writing. I'm sure this is common amongst young writers-and with a four year Bachelor's Degree in English Language and Literature I feel that my writing has become...clinical. I never took a creative writing class or even dared to write a story. Language is formal and in the consistent state of now or then in essays.

This process has inevitably turned me into a critic-movies, television shows, songs, lyrics, pictures, people, pets, my own mind..well you get the idea. I am more than self critical, I am overly critical. And the worst part is, is that I don't really share my opinions with others but instead go through the list of pro's and con's in my head, rating this thing or idea until I have literally anhillated it into nothing. Into a symptom caused by so many other things and made up of so many other things, that the thing itself cannot and will no longer exist on its own.

Buddha would be proud? Yes, Buddha would be proud. After all, some of you may recognize this as the process of seeping into everything else and becoming one with the universe.  But let me clarify; my process is not so tranquil and serene-it is instead a logical mind compulsion. haha. Say it with me now "Logical Mind Compulsion".

Well, enough about me..tootles!